WE can never understand why..

God works in mysterious ways.. we can never understand why certain things happen.. for the past few days I have been crying out to him.. asking him why .. why o lord.. why ... but then I realise I am not worthy to question him.. If God is in control and we believe that he is sovereign, there is little for us to question... we just need to pray and ask him for strength to carry on with the assurance that he is in control..

God is truly sovereign.. I was so distracted from studying these past 2 days and I had lit paper on sat at 1.. I had to rush after the paper for the funeral.. I almost wanted to give up.. I was sure that things would go really really bad.. How could I stay focus in a time like this? But then, God sends his guiding angels.. to remind me.. I got reminded of what Jasmine (NUS theatre friend) told me.. she encouraged me not to depend on my own strength but on God's strength. With that in mind.. I attempted to study the very minimal stuff required.. I completely skipped reading 1 text and all the short stories.. and was banking on the poems, macbeth and Gatsby to do the exam as well as just focusing on the literary device irony... but Uncle David was always at the back of my mind.. the whole journey to school before the exam.. I couldnt hold the tears back.. I think people were staring at me.. but I was just so distracted.. The second angel appeared.. Naomi akka called.. and prayed for me over the phone.. at amen.. the song 'Faith' - hillsong started playing at my mp3 player.. 'Faith I can move the mountains.. I can do all things through christ.. who strengthens me' .. I have never heard the voice of God so clearly.. I was greatly encouraged by the song.. I repeated it till I reached school.. then I got reminded of Regina akka .. cos she was the one who bought me the cd containing the song 6 years ago.. my third angel.. Just wanted to say that even after 6 yrs.. ur small gesture still makes an impact in my life.. I really thank God for her.. I messaged her and told her how I was feeling. Her reply was truly encouraging.. I felt so much better after that..

Now to the best part.. guess what the lit question was?

7. What is dramatic irony? Compare the different workings of dramatic irony in at least 2 texts from the course.

I tell u, I almost screamed in joy after seeing the question.. It was exactly what I had studied.. irony.. I really learnt that If u depend on God to give u strength, he will never let ur foot slip nor let u fall into shame. MY God Rocks..

Berms.. Flip Flops.. a 3D movie.. & lots of mugging

Ok today started out by meeting sentill at 11am to watch Meet the Robinsons in Disney Digital 3D at vivocity.. The movie was nice.. its not really that funny.. but it did have its lighthearted moments here and there... the villain is so power.. Liked him the most.. story wise it was good.. i liked the story and the twist was unexpected (unusual for a cartoon) The most interesting characters ever introduced in a Disney cartoon.. ya.. and the 3d glasses were cool ...as well as the 3D effects..

After the movie, we walked around vivocity and got some retail therapy.. sentill wanted my opinion on which domanchi jacket to get.. The Jackets there are not bad actually .. might wanna consider getting one for christmas.. and the shirts were nice too.. but din feel like buying a shirt.. maybe in May.. I got black berms.. the kind I've been hunting for, for a long time.. and I got dark green flip flops at NUM ... cos sentill had a discount voucher and I wanted to get the flip flops for a long time..

Before u get all judgemental with me on how I can go shopping and watch movie during exam week.. I headed to school at 2 and mugged like crazy in central library from 230 to 930 pm .. and covered alot of psych.. so there..

So today has been a fullfilling day.. studied alot.. watched a movie i've been wanting to watch.. bought berms and flip flops i've been wanting to buy for so long.. ha.. looking forward to more mugging at central library tomorrow. I think studying in school rocks.. no distractions and motivated to study.. oh here's my exam timetable for fun .

Wed 25Apr 5pm - Psychology

Sat 28Apr 1pm - Lit

Mon 30Apr 9am - Sport and History

Wed 02May 9am - Acting

Wed 02May 5pm - Empires

Exams are gonna be over soon !! yeah !

The 2 days !!

These 2 days were great.. managed to accompolish alot.. Exam wise, I've managed to complete Social psych and developmental psych.. just got bio,cognitive and abnormal psych to go.. I'm more or less done with Iberian powers for empires and half way through Algeria.. Lit I've completed reading both my texts and just need to memorise quotes.. Sport and history is open book but need to like read the stuff.. one sport a day from tomorrow and i'll be ready for the exam.. Acting .. well just 2 readings.. should do it soon.. so more or less I'm ok.. enough of exams,

Yesterday, met sentill, viki, vikram for lunch buffet at holiday inn.. Viki had some voucher where 1 person pays and another eats free.. he had 2 of those vouchers so the 4 of us ended up going.. it was nice seeing sentill after such a long time.. originally each person had to pay 30, but due to the voucher, each of us paid 15 dollars.. and for 15 dollars the spread was worth it.. roast duck, lamb, beef rendang, prawn sambal, mee goreng, egg fried rice, roasted potatoes, kang kong, ma po tofu, do it urself rojak, cheesecake, icecream, do it urself fondue.. to name a few.. and the salads were great.. taste wise it was not so fantasic.. i dun think it'll be worth if if it were 30 dollars.. so it was a good thing we had the discount voucher..

The food I had..

Clockwise from btm: sushi, prawn salad,mussel salad,chicken salad, beef salad

Nat n sentill

Vikram

Viki.. hes gonna kill me for uploading more pics of him.. haha.. like i care..

So.. today went to school at like 900 in the morning to study with khadijah.. I love central library.. its such a condusive environment to study.. I should be going there tomorrow as well.. studied till like 5pm.. was really productive today.. then at 5 met liting and stef, we went cafe cartel for dinner before watching BLITHE SPIRIT at drama centre.. Daphne and evan joined us too..

The play was fantastic !! I loved every minute of it.. the actors were excellent.. Lim kay siu and neo swee lin played the husband and wife, pam oei played their maid, selena tan the medium, tan kheng hua was the spirit of lim kay siu's ex wife who was brought back by the medium.. Gerald( acting teacher) played their doctor friend.. It was an amazing comedy.. theacting was good, the set design was good, the lighting design was good.. it was such a great performance..

Reading the programme of the play, I found out that Gerald had played Larry in closer before.. The same role he casted me for my acting mid term presentation.. I felt really weird.. dunno how he would have graded me.. hahaha..

Oh and another thing!! I GOT A- for my Lit Essay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How cool is that !!! I am like so happy lah..

EXAMS ...

Had my Acting practical exam on monday.. was supposed to be in school at 900 to get ready (exam at 1100), but only woke up at 845.. no choice had to take cab.. spent like 18 dollars.. arrgh..
I think it went well.. the examiners seemed to like it.. well lets see lah... hopefully i do well in acting.. I've got no clue on how my progress is on that module haha... well here's my acting group

Clockwise from bottom left: Nat, liting, stef, daphne

Was really fun working with them... their idiosyncracies and moments of bimbotic behaviour (stef mainly) .. i think our hard work paid off.. I was really drained by all the practices and stuff.. was rushing to school almost everyday including sunday for practices... and my studyin was kinda affected.. but now thats over, the burden on my back feels much lighter.. I'm kinda scared for exams.. esp Lit and empires.. I'm afraid i'm gonna blank out and dont know what to write about.. haiz..

Oh psych is so interesting !!! I'm studying a chapter on stress and health now.. and it goes on to talk about optimism and ways to become an optimistic thinker..

1. When a bad mood strikes, stop and think what just went through your head

2. When you've recognised the negative statements, treat them as if they came from someone else- someone who is trying to make your life miserable. Think about the damage the statment is doing to you

3. Argue with those thoughts. Challenge each negative statement and replace it with a postitive statement.

And these are 4 ways in which optimistic thinking can affect on how we live.

1. Optimists are less likely to develop learned helplessness, the tendency to stop trying to achieve a goal that has been blocked in the past

2. Optimists are more likely than pessimists to take care of their health by preventive measures (such as going to the doctor regularly and eating right) because they believe that their actions makes a difference in what happens to them.

3. Optimists are far less likely than pessimists to become depressed and depression is associated with mortality because of the effect of depression on the immune system.

4. Optimists have more effectively functioning immune systems than pessimists, perhaps because they experience less psychological stress.

haha.. ok i'll stop boring everyone with my psych nonsense.. to all those having exams .. All the best !! study hard and be optimistic.

DISAPPOINTMENTS....


I thought i got a B- for my Empires research paper.. but after looking at it again, I got a C+... which is kinda sucky.. things do not look good.. am super discouraged.. Exams in 2 weeks.. lots of studying to do.. am afraid.. I must do well.. my cap score must increase.. I recieved an email from the NUS office of programmes.. I din get into the summer school programme.. discouragement coming one after the other... its like I've lost the will to be happy.. I'm so drained.. the acting pract exam is really draining me.. so much effort put into it... I really hope i do well in that.. I cant afford to do badly in acting, psych and sport and history..

however, I am leaving all these in God's hands.. I believe with him in control, nothing bad will happen.. There is a reason for everything...

I need joy in my life..

A Great Easter !

So Easter started at 12 midnight, we celebrated Naomi akka's birthday.. shes 26.. wow.. we are all getting older.. ha.. the family like talked till 1 plus (our fav pastime) and i went to do some blogging (see previous post) .. morning woke up at 6.. and left for church.. I was so greatful that i din have a bad hair day.. ha. wore a red shirt for Easter.. it was kinda bright (see below) but guess i was just feeling happy. Easter service was so nice !!! I enjoyed playing all the hymms on the piano for the service and during worship. Mom lead worship.. it was good.. nvr felt so much joy in a long time.. Sunday school was good today.. the kids were really attentive.. they managed to grasp the memory verse real quickly.. and I taught them a new song .. they loved it.. ha.. God really answers ur prayers.. he really lifts u up when u are struggling..

So after church, headed home, washed up and left for Bro-in-law's mum's place.. they called us over for easter.. it was here where i had my first taste of chicken in days !!!! the food was awesome.. really nice.. aunty elizabeth is a really good cook.. kinda funny though.. cos i think it was a reflex action i picked up over the past 40 days, I took the tofu and vegetables first and ate them.. ate the meat later on. haha.. After that we went over to Sylvia akka's house.. to visit perimmah on Easter.. she smiled at us .... Uncle richard cooked some sweet and sour chicken thingy.. it was good.. nicky ate alot of it.. ha.. we stayed there till like 930 watching AI (good movie, good plot, stupid lousy ending) and nicks and I rushed home to catch ugly betty..

So Easter was good.. i was blessed today.. Jesus u rock !


Celebrating Akka's Birthday

Nicks and me before service

Mom (extreme right) and her friends

Nazarena !! my adorable niece..

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL !!!

Its such a wonderful thing.. to have someone who loves u soooooo much that he was willing to give up everything.. so he could die for u.. to save u.. Jesus.. I love u sooooo much.. words cannot express how great u are...

Easter is here once again
To remind me of your struggle and pain
it is a day of victory
where you conquered death to save me

Today I rejoice and praise you o lord,
Jesus Christ, the son of God.
you have freed me from the grasp of sin
now I can soar like the eagle in the wind.

- Nathanael

Ha.. inspired to write this.. in like 2 am on easter morning.. have to wake up at 6 to go to church later.. ha... well its easter again.. I love easter.. its really a joyful day.. a day of victory.. Its Easter that makes the Christian life so significant.. its a day to Remember God's promise to us his people.. In my opinion, I feel that Easter is more significant than Christmas.. its more important and its a pity that it is not celebrated as much as Christmas.. well actually in Europe, Easter is greatly celebrated.. even more than Christmas.. which is the way it should be.. Cos Easter is the reason behind Christianity.. So happy Easter everyone !!

The video is to remind us of what Jesus did for all of us.. his suffering, our gain.. Jesus u rock..

STEPHEN !!

Met Stephen for a movie today.. hes going back to Brunei tomorrow for another 4 months.. how sad.. haiz.. anyways...

We watched the number 23... I liked the movie.. it was good.. dun bother about the critics.. i thought the plot was good, the suspense great.. and it was entertaining.. a good thriller.. Jim carrey was good in the movie.. liked the way he acted..

So after the movie, we met up with dale and thomas (stephen's friend). Dale was keeping me informed about the latest happenings at my NSF unit.. ha.. according to him life is better now.. ha.. well after a while life does get better.. its the beginning parts which are hell.. gosh.. i miss NS.. was so much fun... I miss Dale's bimbotic comments ... its rarely i'm surrounded with people who talk so much rubbish that its entertaining nowadays.. unless i'm with shanthini lah.. but ya this sem i rarely get to meet her.. last sem we did complementary med together so i saw her like twice a week.. no wonder i feel that there is something lacking this sem..

Oh then went home like around 7ish.. Uma dog came over.. to plan and discuss the games for the youth camp... boy arent the games fun.. the campers are in for alot of fun in !! there will be a major difference in how the games are conducted this time.. i'm sure people will enjoy it.. see how it goes eh..

NO MORE ESSAYS !!

Its time to celebrate.. I've submitted all my essays and i've got no more due this sem.. however.. this joy is short lived.. 23 days to exams !! arrgH !! must start reading my lit texts all over again.. aiyoh.. more work for nat.. Well I'm gonna take 2 days off to really relax ... oh wait.. i forgot.. must go and like prepare for my acting practical exam.. so ya.. i've got no break untill like exams are over.. which is like may 2.. hey.. exactly 1 month from today.. ok I know i'm lame but i got stressed today and ended up taking photos of my work area while doing the essay.. i've never borrowed this many books from the library before.. 4 from school.. 3 from national library.. 7 books !! I've read 7 books to do all my essays... arrgh ...

Oh ya i need to like call stephen.. hes leaving on thurs.. hope we can meet up before that.